Monday, November 23, 2009

W15 - Mini Lecture: Paragraphs and Topic Sentences

Day 50
11/24/09 - Tuesday

Directive:
Read lecture in its entirety
Take notes of lecture - foll wing headings (bullet format)
Submit to instructor for check off
* Prior to revising writing proficiency papers review this document for advancing paragraphs and topic sentencing.


Paragraphs and Topic Sentences
A paragraph is a series of sentences that are organized and coherent, and are all related to a single topic. Almost every piece of writing you do that is longer than a few sentences should be organized into paragraphs. This is because paragraphs show a reader where the subdivisions of an essay begin and end, and thus help the reader see the organization of the essay and grasp its main points.
Paragraphs can contain many different kinds of information. A paragraph could contain a series of brief examples or a single long illustration of a general point. It might describe a place, character, or process; narrate a series of events; compare or contrast two or more things; classify items into categories; or describe causes and effects. Regardless of the kind of information they contain, all paragraphs share certain characteristics. One of the most important of these is a topic sentence.

TOPIC SENTENCES
A well-organized paragraph supports or develops a single controlling idea, which is expressed in a sentence called the topic sentence. A topic sentence has several important functions: it substantiates or supports an essay’s thesis statement; it unifies the content of a paragraph and directs the order of the sentences; and it advises the reader of the subject to be discussed and how the paragraph will discuss it. Readers generally look to the first few sentences in a paragraph to determine the subject and perspective of the paragraph. That’s why it’s often best to put the topic sentence at the very beginning of the paragraph. In some cases, however, it’s more effective to place another sentence before the topic sentence—for example, a sentence linking the current paragraph to the previous one, or one providing background information.
Although most paragraphs should have a topic sentence, there are a few situations when a paragraph might not need a topic sentence. For example, you might be able to omit a topic sentence in a paragraph that narrates a series of events, if a paragraph continues developing an idea that you introduced (with a topic sentence) in the previous paragraph, or if all the sentences and details in a paragraph clearly refer—perhaps indirectly—to a main point. The vast majority of your paragraphs, however, should have a topic sentence.

PARAGRAPH STRUCTURE
Most paragraphs in an essay have a three-part structure—introduction, body, and conclusion. You can see this structure in paragraphs whether they are narrating, describing, comparing, contrasting, or analyzing information. Each part of the paragraph plays an important role in communicating your meaning to your reader.
Introduction: the first section of a paragraph; should include the topic sentence and any other sentences at the beginning of the paragraph that give background information or provide a transition.

Body: follows the introduction; discusses the controlling idea, using facts, arguments, analysis, examples, and other information.

Conclusion: the final section; summarizes the connections between the information discussed in the body of the paragraph and the paragraph’s controlling idea.
The following paragraph illustrates this pattern of organization. In this paragraph the topic sentence and concluding sentence (CAPITALIZED) both help the reader keep the paragraph’s main point in mind.

SCIENTISTS HAVE LEARNED TO SUPPLEMENT THE SENSE OF SIGHT IN NUMEROUS WAYS. In front of the tiny pupil of the eye they put, on Mount Palomar, a great monocle 200 inches in diameter, and with it see 2000 times farther into the depths of space. Or they look through a small pair of lenses arranged as a microscope into a drop of water or blood, and magnify by as much as 2000 diameters the living creatures there, many of which are among man’s most dangerous enemies. Or, if we want to see distant happenings on earth, they use some of the previously wasted electromagnetic waves to carry television images which they re-create as light by whipping tiny crystals on a screen with electrons in a vacuum. Or they can bring happenings of long ago and far away as colored motion pictures, by arranging silver atoms and color-absorbing molecules to force light waves into the patterns of original reality. Or if we want to see into the center of a steel casting or the chest of an injured child, they send the information on a beam of penetrating short-wave X rays, and then convert it back into images we can see on a screen or photograph. THUS ALMOST EVERY TYPE OF ELECTROMAGNETIC RADIATION YET DISCOVERED HAS BEEN USED TO EXTEND OUR SENSE OF SIGHT IN SOME WAY. George Harrison, “Faith and the Scientist”
COHERENCE
In a coherent paragraph, each sentence relates clearly to the topic sentence or controlling idea, but there is more to coherence than this. If a paragraph is coherent, each sentence flows smoothly into the next without obvious shifts or jumps. A coherent paragraph also highlights the ties between old information and new information to make the structure of ideas or arguments clear to the reader.

Along with the smooth flow of sentences, a paragraph’s coherence may also be related to its length. If you have written a very long paragraph, one that fills a double-spaced typed page, for example, you should check it carefully to see if it should start a new paragraph where the original paragraph wanders from its controlling idea. On the other hand, if a paragraph is very short (only one or two sentences, perhaps), you may need to develop its controlling idea more thoroughly, or combine it with another paragraph.
A number of other techniques that you can use to establish coherence in paragraphs are described below.
Repeat key words or phrases. Particularly in paragraphs in which you define or identify an important idea or theory, be consistent in how you refer to it. This consistency and repetition will bind the paragraph together and help your reader understand your definition or description.
Create parallel structures. Parallel structures are created by constructing two or more phrases or sentences that have the same grammatical structure and use the same parts of speech. By creating parallel structures you make your sentences clearer and easier to read. In addition, repeating a pattern in a series of consecutive sentences helps your reader see the connections between ideas. In the paragraph above about scientists and the sense of sight, several sentences in the body of the paragraph have been constructed in a parallel way. The parallel structures (which have been emphasized) help the reader see that the paragraph is organized as a set of examples of a general statement.

Be consistent in point of view, verb tense, and number. Consistency in point of view, verb tense, and number is a subtle but important aspect of coherence. If you shift from the more personal "you" to the impersonal “one,” from past to present tense, or from “a man” to “they,” for example, you make your paragraph less coherent. Such inconsistencies can also confuse your reader and make your argument more difficult to follow.

Use transition words or phrases between sentences and between paragraphs. Transitional expressions emphasize the relationships between ideas, so they help readers follow your train of thought or see connections that they might otherwise miss or misunderstand. The following paragraph shows how carefully chosen transitions (CAPITALIZED) lead the reader smoothly from the introduction to the conclusion of the paragraph.

I don’t wish to deny that the flattened, minuscule head of the large-bodied "stegosaurus" houses little brain from our subjective, top-heavy perspective, BUT I do wish to assert that we should not expect more of the beast. FIRST OF ALL, large animals have relatively smaller brains than related, small animals. The correlation of brain size with body size among kindred animals (all reptiles, all mammals, FOR EXAMPLE) is remarkably regular. AS we move from small to large animals, from mice to elephants or small lizards to Komodo dragons, brain size increases, BUT not so fast as body size. IN OTHER WORDS, bodies grow faster than brains, AND large animals have low ratios of brain weight to body weight. IN FACT, brains grow only about two-thirds as fast as bodies. SINCE we have no reason to believe that large animals are consistently stupider than their smaller relatives, we must conclude that large animals require relatively less brain to do as well as smaller animals. IF we do not recognize this relationship, we are likely to underestimate the mental power of very large animals, dinosaurs in particular.
Stephen Jay Gould, “Were Dinosaurs Dumb?”

SOME USEFUL TRANSITIONS
(modified from Diana Hacker, A Writer’s Reference)
To show addition:
again, and, also, besides, equally important, first (second, etc.), further, furthermore, in addition, in the first place, moreover, next, too
To give examples:
for example, for instance, in fact, specifically, that is, to illustrate
To compare:
also, in the same manner, likewise, similarly
To contrast:
although, and yet, at the same time, but, despite, even though, however, in contrast, in spite of, nevertheless, on the contrary, on the other hand, still, though, yet
To summarize or conclude:
all in all, in conclusion, in other words, in short, in summary, on the whole, that is, therefore, to sum up
To show time:
after, afterward, as, as long as, as soon as, at last, before, during, earlier, finally, formerly, immediately, later, meanwhile, next, since, shortly, subsequently, then, thereafter, until, when, while

To show place or direction:
above, below, beyond, close, elsewhere, farther on, here, nearby, opposite, to the left (north, etc.)
To indicate logical relationship:
accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this reason, hence, if, otherwise, since, so, then, therefore, thus

Produced by Writing Tutorial Services, Indiana University, Bloomington, IN

W15 - Mini Lecture - When to use 'I'

Monday, November 23, 2009

W15 - Mini Lecture - When to use 'I'
Assignment Directive:
Read article
Take notes of article in journal - follow every heading
Journal Entry date: 11/23/09 Monday
Submit to instructor for check off

Mini Lecture
Should I Use "I"?

What this lecture is is aboutThis mini lecture is about determining when to use first person pronouns ("I", "we," "me," "us," "my," and "our") and personal experience in academic writing. "First person" and "personal experience" might sound like two ways of saying the same thing, but first person and personal experience can work in very different ways in your writing. You might choose to use "I" but not make any reference to your individual experiences in a particular paper. Or you might include a brief description of an experience that could help illustrate a point you're making without ever using the word "I." So whether or not you should use first person and personal experience are really two separate questions, both of which this handout addresses. It also offers some alternatives if you decide that either "I" or personal experience isn't appropriate for your project. If you've decided that you do want to use one of them, this handout offers some ideas about how to do so effectively, because in many cases using one or the other might strengthen your writing.

Expectations about academic writingStudents often arrive at college with strict lists of writing rules in mind. Often these are rather strict lists of absolutes, including rules both stated and unstated:
Each essay should have exactly five paragraphs.
Don't begin a sentence with 'and' or 'because.
'Never include personal opinion.
Never use 'I' in essays.

We get these ideas primarily from teachers and other students. Often these ideas are derived from good advice but have been turned into unnecessarily strict rules in our minds. The problem is that overly strict rules about writing can prevent us, as writers, from being flexible enough to learn to adapt to the writing styles of different fields, ranging from the sciences to the humanities, and different kinds of writing projects, ranging from reviews to research.So when it suits your purpose as a scholar, you will probably need to break some of the old rules, particularly the rules that prohibit first person pronouns and personal experience. Although there are certainly some instructors who think that these rules should be followed (so it is a good idea to ask directly), many instructors in all kinds of fields are finding reason to depart from these rules. Avoiding "I" can lead to awkwardness and vagueness, whereas using it in your writing can improve style and clarity. Using personal experience, when relevant, can add concreteness and even authority to writing that might otherwise be vague and impersonal.

Because college writing situations vary widely in terms of stylistic conventions, tone, audience, and purpose, the trick is deciphering the conventions of your writing context and determining how your purpose and audience affect the way you write. The rest of this handout is devoted to strategies for figuring out when to use "I" and personal experience.

Effective uses of "I":In many cases, using the first person pronoun can improve your writing, by offering the following benefits:Assertiveness: In some cases you might wish to emphasize agency (who is doing what), as for instance if you need to point out how valuable your particular project is to an academic discipline or to claim your unique perspective or argument.

Clarity: Because trying to avoid the first person can lead to awkward constructions and vagueness, using the first person can improve your writing style. Positioning yourself in the essay: In some projects, you need to explain how your research or ideas build on or depart from the work of others, in which case you'll need to say "I," "we," "my," or "our"; if you wish to claim some kind of authority on the topic, first person may help you do so.Deciding whether "I" will help your styleHere is an example of how using the first person can make the writing clearer and more assertive:

Original example: In studying American popular culture of the 1980s, the question of to what degree materialism was a major characteristic of the cultural milieu was explored.Better example using first person: In our study of American popular culture of the 1980s, we explored the degree to which materialism characterized the cultural milieu.
The original example sounds less emphatic and direct than the revised version; using "I" allows the writers to avoid the convoluted construction of the original and clarifies who did what.
Here is an example in which alternatives to the first person would be more appropriate:

Original example: As I observed the communication styles of first-year Carolina women, I noticed frequent use of non-verbal cues.

Better example: A study of the communication styles of first-year Carolina women revealed frequent use of non-verbal cues.
In the original example, using the first person grounds the experience heavily in the writer's subjective, individual perspective, but the writer's purpose is to describe a phenomenon that is in fact objective or independent of that perspective. Avoiding the first person here creates the desired impression of an observed phenomenon that could be reproduced and also creates a stronger, clearer statement.

Here's another example in which an alternative to first person works better:
Original example:As I was reading this study of medieval village life, I noticed that social class tended to be clearly defined.
Better example: This study of medieval village life reveals that social class tended to be clearly defined.
Although you may run across instructors who find the casual style of the original example refreshing, they are probably rare. The revised version sounds more academic and renders the statement more assertive and direct.

Here's a final example:
Original example I think that Aristotle's ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to contemporary cases, or at least it seems that way to me.
Better example: Aristotle's ethical arguments are logical and readily applicable to contemporary cases.
In this example, there is no real need to announce that that statement about Aristotle is your thought; this is your paper, so readers will assume that the ideas in it are yours.Determining whether to use "I" according to the conventions of the academic fieldWhich fields allow "I"?The rules for this are changing, so it's always best to ask your instructor if you're not sure about using first person. But here are some general guidelines:Sciences: In the past, scientific writers avoided the use of "I" because scientists often view the first person as interfering with the impression of objectivity and impersonality they are seeking to create. But conventions seem to be changing in some cases—for instance, when a scientific writer is describing a project she is working on or positioning that project within the existing research on the topic. Check with your science instructor to find out whether it's o.k. to use "I" in his/her class.

Social Sciences: Some social scientists try to avoid "I" for the same reasons that other scientists do. But first person is becoming more commonly accepted, especially when the writer is describing his/her project or perspective.

Humanities: Ask your instructor whether you should use "I." The purpose of writing in the humanities is generally to offer your own analysis of language, ideas, or a work of art. Writers in these fields tend to value assertiveness and to emphasize agency (who's doing what), so the first person is often—but not always—appropriate. Sometimes writers use the first person in a less effective way, preceding an assertion with "I think," "I feel," or "I believe" as if such a phrase could replace a real defense of an argument. While your audience is generally interested in your perspective in the humanities fields, readers do expect you to fully argue, support, and illustrate your assertions. Personal belief or opinion is generally not sufficient in itself; you will need evidence of some kind to convince your reader.

Other writing situations: If you're writing a speech, use of the first and even the second person ("you") is generally encouraged because these personal pronouns can create a desirable sense of connection between speaker and listener and can contribute to the sense that the speaker is sincere and involved in the issue. If you're writing a resume, though, avoid the first person; describe your experience, education, and skills without using a personal pronoun (for example, under "Experience" you might write "Volunteered as a peer counselor.").A note on the second person "you":In situations where your intention is to sound conversational and friendly because it suits your purpose, as it does in this handout intended to offer helpful advice, or in a letter or speech, "you" might help to create just the sense of familiarity you're after. But in most academic writing situations, "you" sounds overly conversational, as for instance in a claim like "when you read the poem 'The Wasteland,' you feel a sense of emptiness." In this case, the "you" sounds overly conversational. The statement would read better as "The poem 'The Wasteland' creates a sense of emptiness." Academic writers almost always use alternatives to the second person pronoun, such as "one," "the reader," or "people."

Personal experience in academic writing
The question of whether personal experience has a place in academic writing depends on context and purpose. In papers that seek to analyze an objective principle or data as in science papers, or in papers for a field that explicitly tries to minimize the effect of the researcher's presence such as anthropology, personal experience would probably distract from your purpose. But sometimes you might need to explicitly situate your position as researcher in relation to your subject of study. Or if your purpose is to present your individual response to a work of art, to offer examples of how an idea or theory might apply to life, or to use experience as evidence or a demonstration of an abstract principle, personal experience might have a legitimate role to play in your academic writing. Using personal experience effectively usually means keeping it in the service of your argument, as opposed to letting it become an end in itself or take over the paper.It's also usually best to keep your real or hypothetical stories brief, but they can strengthen arguments in need of concrete illustrations or even just a little more vitality.
Here are some examples of effective ways to incorporate personal experience in academic writing:
Anecdotes: In some cases, brief examples of experiences you've had or witnessed may serve as useful illustrations of a point you're arguing or a theory you're evaluating. For instance, in philosophical arguments, writers often use a real or hypothetical situation to illustrate abstract ideas and principles.References to your own experience can explain your interest in an issue or even help to establish your authority on a topic.Some specific writing situations, such as application essays, explicitly call for discussion of personal experience.

Here are some suggestions about including personal experience in writing for specific fields:

Philosophy: In philosophical writing, your purpose is generally to reconstruct or evaluate an existing argument, and/or to generate your own. Sometimes, doing this effectively may involve offering a hypothetical example or an illustration. In these cases, you might find that inventing or recounting a scenario that you've experienced or witnessed could help demonstrate your point. Personal experience can play a very useful role in your philosophy papers, as long as you always explain to the reader how the experience is related to your argument.

Religion: Religion courses might seem like a place where personal experience would be welcomed. But most religion courses take a cultural, historical, or textual approach, and these generally require objectivity and impersonality. So although you probably have very strong beliefs or powerful experiences in this area that might motivate your interest in the field, they shouldn't supplant scholarly analysis. But ask your instructor, as it is possible that he or she is interested in your personal experiences with religion, especially in less formal assignments such as response papers.

Literature, Music, Fine Arts, and Film: Writing projects in these fields can sometimes benefit from the inclusion of personal experience, as long as it isn't tangential. For instance, your annoyance over your roommate's habits might not add much to an analysis of "Citizen Kane." However, if you're writing about Ridley Scott's treatment of relationships between women in the movie "Thelma and Louise," some reference your own observations about these relationships might be relevant if it adds to your analysis of the film. Personal experience can be especially appropriate in a response paper, or in any kind of assignment that asks about your experience of the work as a reader or viewer. Some film and literature scholars are interested in how a film or literary text is received by different audiences, so a discussion of how a particular viewer or reader experiences or identifies with the piece would probably be appropriate.

Women's Studies: Women's Studies classes tend to be taught from a feminist perspective, a perspective which is generally interested in the ways in which individuals experience gender roles. So personal experience can often serve as evidence for your analytical and argumentative papers in this field. This field is also one in which you might be asked to keep a journal, a kind of writing that requires you to apply theoretical concepts to your experiences.

History: If you're analyzing a historical period or issue, personal experience is less likely to advance your purpose of objectivity. However, some kinds of historical scholarship do involve the exploration of personal histories. So although you might not be referencing your own experience, you might very well be discussing other people's experiences as illustrations of their historical contexts.
Sciences: Because the primary purpose is to study data and fixed principles in an objective way, personal experience is less likely to have a place in this kind of writing. Often, as in a lab report, your goal is to describe observations in such a way that a reader could duplicate the experiment, so the less extra information, the better. Of course, if you're working in the social sciences, case studies—accounts of the personal experiences of other people—are a crucial part of your scholarship.

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout (just click print) and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
http://www.unc.edu/depts/wcweb/handouts/should_I_use_I.html

Monday, November 16, 2009

W14 - Online Classroom, Thursday 11/19/09

Assignment Directive:

Go to the academic websites below and take one test in the elementary category, one test in the intermediate and one in the advance.

Review your journal entries for test previously taken on this site and avoid repeat similar test.

Take test prior to looking at the answers. Write answers to test in your journal listed under week 14 - 11/19/09.

http://www.englishforjapanese.com/exercises/prepositions/06%20preps.html

Mock Writing Proficiency Drill Directive



Directive: After actual drill is preformed, students are approaching this project as an individual assignment. Please note which steps you have successfully accomplished and move to the next step (as guided by your instructor).

Position Paper

Drill - Taken during w11 - two course periods
Instructor review - W12
Student Revisions - W12 & 13
One on One - W13
Student Revisions - W 13
Posting of Final Draft - W14 to instructor at alorenzo@centralstate.edu by 11:00 AM, 11/19/09

W14 Preview


Monday - One on One Paper Reviews, Journal Slam , Literature Review

Tuesday - One on One Paper Reviews, Journal Slam

Movie Attendance: Black Indians: An American Story - presented by The Black Oak Project The relationship between Native Americans and African American has long been overlooked. This documentary takes a look at how the histories of the two groups have intertwined and met, and the challenges facing them today. Featuring historical anecdotes and unique family memories.

Time:6:00PM Tuesday, November 17th
Location:Wesley Hall. CSU Main Campus*

Journal Entry: Wednesday 11/18/09 Essay review of movie theme & social issue

Before writing essay, view The Black Oak Project facebook and visit the movie site posted on their wall . Become a fan of this facebook site:
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/pages/The-Black-Oak-Project/163116857227?ref=ts

Wednesday - Essay - Write a five paragraph essay (mind map/outline required) discussing, "Going Home for Thanksgiving." Essay is signed and dated by instructor after class.

Thursday - Online - Email Mock Proficiency Writing revision to alorenzo@centralstate.edu by 11:00AM.

Refer to blog post for complete test directive:
Take test prior to looking at the answers. Write answers to test in your journal listed under W14 - 11/19/09.
http://www.englishforjapanese.com/exercises/prepositions/06%20preps.html

Projects

1. Mock Writing Proficiency Drill Packet
2. Journal - organizing, studying
4. Revising written assignments
5. Preparing for final exam

Note: During online course period the following professor is available to assist you - Mr. J. DeMonte

Students who need to pick up their writing piece - can find documents in my mailbox located in the Humanities department.

Monday, November 9, 2009

W13 - Garmmar Drill


Directives:Date this as a journal entry, using the date you are beginning the assignment. Use three different sources to complete this drill. Identify which sources you use.

Terms

Provided definitions and examples for:

A;E;I;O;U; & Y
Acronym
Vowels
Phonetics
Sound
Language
English
Homographs

W13 Preview


Monday: Literature Review, One on One Meetings, Lab Exercise

Tuesday: Convocation - No Class (Online Blog Drill related to Convocation)

Wednesday: Holiday - College Closed

Thursday: Grammar Drills, Literature Review

Note: We will continue holding the class in two locations: classroom and Writing Lab . Students should review the last few weeks of the semester as independent study, while maintaining regularly scheduled classroom periods and attending campus directed activities and one on one meetings with the instructor(s).

Tools Needed:

Dictionary (classroom)
Journals
Flash drive

Homework Activities:

Finish reading literature book
Finish reading Jamaica Kincaid
Review WI content
Complete assignments not submitted
Fill in missing journal entries
Complete drills on course blog
Begin finding research sources for your mock proficiency drill essay development